★I am not being negative, I am getting worse.
Why is it that when you tell someone who asks how you're feeling, if it is a negative answer more than a few times in a row, you're labeled as a hypochondriac?
A malingerer.
You begin to lose credibility with that person over time. As your rapport and relationship slowly breaks down, you realize you are faced with a difficult task.
You will soon find you have (on average) one of two choices, you can either continue to be honest with people about how much you really are in pain over time, or you can lie, and deal with it by yourself, subtracting all the witnesses from the equation.
★Daily Struggles
Daily Life’s struggles and strife are up to us to change.
Yes, we can go to the doctor hoping to get good service, but in this day and age, with this technology, we know that scenario is unlikely. In fact we have a pretty poor opinion of people in the medical field in general due to their inability to communicate effectively with us and or treat us with respect.
But I don't blame the medical community for reacting to an excruciating occupational load, a shitty work-life balance in addition to vast underpayment for the things they do.
Sometimes, if you work at a hospital, if you're not running shit, then you're the one being ran. You can take that as you may. I've never worked in a hospital before, but I will say that I have observed some pretty nasty, snarky comments, made by doctors to their nurses, and attendants. Like, some cringe-worthy episode of The Office.
★Stop telling me my suggestions are wrong before even contemplating them.
When I broke out with hives on my chest, I assumed it was from a medication remix that didn’t set well. But, this is not the only cutaneous issue I've had before.
I've had quite a few dermatological incidents over the last few years (that I've been consciously paying attention to the issue).
★Living With A Chronic Issue
As a matter of fact I have HS, which is Hidradenitis Suppurativa. This condition is also known as acne inversa. It really, really sucks. Like really.
It is no surprise in the medical industry that hidradenitis suppurativa is an immune related condition that is increasingly being considered systemic. When a condition is described as being systemic, that means it affects all bodily systems. your whole system is affected. This includes autoimmune functions, nerve functions, and pain receptors as well as glandular issues and proper secretion of debris from the body as needed.
For example, what happens when I get a boil from acne inversa is that I get regular everyday bacteria that settles on the top of my skin. By the time it takes a regular person to go home and take a shower, my skin has already healed over that bacteria and covered it under a layer of imperceptible skin. Over a few days of festering, getting caught between sweat glands and hair follicles, mixing with oil, keratin and sebum along with other danders found in the air, create the perfect storm for a carbuncle. A huge boil that may or may not have a head, in a place that is usually very uncomfortable. I've gotten them under my arms before and on my thighs.
When I went to the doctor last time, I told her that I was feeling generally crappy most of the time. Malaise, fatigue, the occasional headache, asymmetrical joint swelling, body aches, hot and cold flashes. The list could go on for forever, but the bottom line is something is definitely wrong, yet they denied me anything that could prove a physiological reason for my misery.
★What if it's not me, it REALLY IS them?
I certainly wouldn't put it past anyone to coach or psychologically lead there medical students into believing things the same way that they see them as instructors, leaders in the industry, and those who have extensive experience in the field. All three of those characteristics can make a person bitter and expose them to emotional trauma related to their occupations. That puts them at risk.
Maybe there is a fundamental part of the equation in regard to Medical bias, gas lighting, and trauma. Maybe there is a pattern that I am unable to see. We've been taught not to judge books by their covers, but in the end, statistics rule the world.
I'm sure that there is a statistic somewhere that says if you're somewhere over 5 lb past your perfect weight then you're at risk for X, X and X.
★They Don't’ Have A Solution But They Won’t Admit It:
(Here’s A Little Side Note I’ve Noticed As Of Late)
Mental health is always listed next to substance use disorder rehabilitation programs. Why is that?
Is it because they view it to be completely preventable? The same way they view drug “abuse” or, as I prefer to call it, “forced self- medication”?
Is it because they would like to put the beginning of the “cycle” in the same group as the end of the “cycle” ? (Of course when I say “the cycle'', I mean the cycle of their failure as mental health aides/ and or advocates, clinicians or just general workers who witness inexcusable mistreatment and or behavior from someone who is considered to e a highly esteemed and trusted member of the community: Beyond reproach.).
★Here’s My Deal.
I want so badly to change things in the medical community. But the first thing that has to change is people's willingness to stand up for what's right despite the crippling anxiety that comes with it.
It is hard to face a bully and stand your ground. For some of us it's almost devastating. I can almost picture standing up to my high school bullies even now, and I'm 34 years old and it makes me nervous.
But maybe for you, like me, something magical will happen. Instead of getting more and more afraid, you will become angry. You will realize your worth and shit a small square frisbee at the way they have treated you.
Then even later still, you will look at yourself and ask why the hell did you allow this type of treatment?
Why or how in the hell did we allow our power to get pissed down the drain?
★Đon’t Forget Your Rights
We have the right to our medical information and to know our treatment plans when possible so that we may have a say in them.
We have a right to ask questions about things we to not understand.
We have the right to communicate with the person/ people we are paying for medical knowledge because we are citizens, the land of the free and the home of the brave.
Not all of us went to school doctors. They did, so what in the world is the issue?
Conclusion
★TL;DR
It is not always mind over matter, in some instances there are several identifiable variables that have a substantial effect on our mental and physical well-being.
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